Friday

What a tiring week...I am extremely glad that it's Friday. I even fell asleep at the doctor's office yesterday...for 30 minutes. I was mad that they had me wait 30 minutes during my work hour...but it was a good nap after all. I have to repent of my sinful act of goofing off at work. But this break will no longer last since Lisa, my co-worker is leaving next week and I will be loaded with massive amount of work... ah..is it ever going to end..? My 2 day vacation in Boston is not going to be enough.. Boss took couple of us to Le Bec-Fin for lunch today for Lisa's last day. Wow...it was amazing. It's supposed to be the most renown French Restaurant in the city and I always thought I would never pay to dine there. Somehow I got lulled into expanding my horizon and tried snail and goose river soup called Foie Gras ... not sure about the soup...but snail was actually really really chewy and delicious. My workaholic but cool boss bought us champagne with lunch and by the time we finish, it was almost time to go home...(Thank you Lord). : ) With one more glass, we were probably all drunk at work.

indelible times

So much happend over the past few days. Although I thought I finally had peace in God, I found myself still flummoxed by few circumstances. Embarrassing...What a relief to know that God's control is behind EVERYTHING and anything in my life. It's matter of how perfectly I trust him to seek and ask at each moment. Once again, encourgaed by today's reading...
There are times, says Jesus, when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but trust Him. God will appear like an unkind friend, but He is not; He will appear like an unnatural Father, but He is not; He will appear like an unjust judge, but He is not. Keep the notion of the mind of God behind all things strong and growing. Nothing happens in any particular unless God's will is behind it, therefore you can rest in perfect confidence in Him. Prayer is not only asking, but an attitude of mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking is perfectly natural. "Ask, and it shall be given you." (Matt7)
I am much more motivated for this upcoming 30 day morning prayer. I was actually greatly discouraged last Saturday when I went to the prayer meeting for the first time in few months...barely woke up 15 minutes before 6am...(not sure if I even washed my face). I was scared thinking about waking up extra hour early before work to go to the prayer meeting....for 30...long....days... additional 10 more days from last year. but I have so much to pray about...and talk to God about...and really pour out my heart about....God revealed to me that I've been lack in prayer because I've been having hard time resting in perfect confidence in Him. Rebecca, my long time friend from Houston, was visting Philly and we got together on Monday. She just came back from Tibet last month for the long term mission and she challenged me in many aspects. We had so much to share and talk about... As much as I enjoyed engaging in reminiscence of our youth, I was so inspired by her vision in Christ. Even after all our ups and downs and turmoil...God has His own way of showing us His will in our lives.

life

Heard a good news and a bad news... I was so overjoyed yet smitten by heart ache for someone else's sorrow.
Life...laborious journey...nothing I can take full control. It's too hard to think about death. Although it's ineluctable... death seem so unrealistic to me. God took a friend's father few days ago... he was a pastor who dedicated his whole life to God. It's comforting to know that he's in heaven now. Last week, I was just speaking to my friend right before his dad's surgery. I did not know how critical it was then...found out it was his second open heart surgery. Going to the viewing tomorrow at church. I really hope and pray that our ministry can be an encouragement to him and his family at this time.

Introspection 2

Felt like I was keep on falling more than 100 times a day. I was so unease about my uncertainty and couldn't rest in the Lord. By grace of God, I was able to pick myself up each time. Perhaps He wanted to remind me that I must learn to keep His commend by not letting my heart be troubled and put Him first in every situation. Why am I so pressured to make the decision so quickly? I cannot stand the uncertainty.. especially when things doesn't seem to fit into the picture quite well in my own eyes.
Lord, teach me to seek you with all my heart so that I can find you.

Introspection

Tired of thinking.

As of today..

As of today, I am 322 months old, 1,399 weeks old and 9,796 days old...for some reason, this doesn't sound much to me... but 26 sounds bit much.
Ate dinner with S.K and his friends last night. It wasn't all that comfortable hanging out with them but it ended up to be a pretty good night. Some of the stories I heard about him was quite entertaining...Found out that he can't ride roller coasters or any of the adventurous rides. I never met someone who lost his voice over a Nitro(one of the most exciting roller coaster at six flag). Honestly, it was a bit disappointing but how can I measure someone to my own standard. Hm...
It's been a most exhausting week so far. Fireworks on Monday was pretty frustrating since I had to rush home for work next morning. It was fun hanging out with countless crowd in the beginning but not after 2 hours of standing and waiting for the fireworks to start. I think I prefer to stay home and relax. Yeah...I am 322 months old...

More than Sorrow

Receiving yourself in the fires of sorrow...powerful testimony from Oswald Chambers once again reminded me of God's purpose in creating each person in Christ. "As a saint of God, my attitude toward sorrow & difficulties should not be to ask that they be prevented, but to ask that God protect me so that I may remain what He created me to be, in spite of all my fires of sorrow". I think this is why it is so critical to be God centered when we live our daily lives. Every aspects of life seem to be different...Even a momentary Sorrow is not just another trial given by Him but it's a process for me to be the nourishment for other people. So that others may always recognize that I have been through the fires of sorrow, and know that they can come to me at their moments of trouble.....instead of vaguely going through my sorrow and difficulties, I should ask God to guide my heart so that I can be available for people God may place in my life.